Sunday, February 14, 2010

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

Distraction is an official form of grieving. Mother died in December and I even received counsel to not make any major changes this first year. Truer words were never spoken...and I didn't follow them. No it is as if I jumped off a cliff in the completely opposite direction of common sense and landed close to a town called Insanity. I decided to have the kitchen painted, new interior doors put in, kids bathroom redone, the foundation cracks ALL over the house repaired, bathrooms get my drift (as mother used to say). And here's the joy of it all...

Exhibit A

Ah yes I found this all to be a good idea...along with training for a half marathon, cleaning up Christmas, listing my mother's condo and cleaning it out, open mom's mail, open my mail, pay her bills, pay my bills, trying to go to work, deal with Girl Scout Cookie sales, Auction gifts for the kids' school, Valentine's Day, Science Fair projects and many other "necessary items on my children's schedules." For the love...I now know hardly any of it was a good idea to couple up with remodeling my own house, but hey, we all grieve in our own way. My way is to lose my mind and do dumb things collectively (and cry a lot). Sorry if I am raising your blood pressure. Perhaps I could write a book on how NOT to go about grieving. Surely some poor soul would read my story and feel better about how they are stacking up against my methods:) I've been chewing a lot of gum lately; I understand now why people smoke. I think I have TMJ after Science Fair and Girl Scout Cookie Sales stress. lol. Don't worry I have never smoked and never will. But I might invest in Extra or Trident stock.

Exhibit B

But now things are being put back into cabinets, and my sweet husband continues to be as supportive as ever, and continues his work on our flooring. Now I need to pick out hardware, which I think I would rather pay someone else to do (but maybe a friend will feel sorry for me and do that with me...hint, hint). And who knew how happy a new set of 6-panel white interior doors could make me these days? They are just fab.

I feel family has been eating at restaurants basically since December. I hate cooking if I have not mentioned that before. I try to pretend, but it is no use. I love cleaning and organizing all kinds of nothing, but hate to cook. But I did whip up a mean beef stroganoff last night, which I chanted to myself, no child in this family would eat...but I made it anyway. And lo and behold, all 4 children ate it. Wonders will never cease. Maybe this will give me hope. But this restaurant thing is just a laziness issue that needs to end. Did I also mention how much I hate the grocery store? I know I should not say hate, but dislike greatly is not a strong enough phrase. I have friends who go to the store and love it like Nordstrom's or how Sarah Beth loves the American Girl store. I don't get it. But I do know I need to get cooking. This is ridiculous. I need intervention (and a cook).

But in my avoidance of cooking, I did manage to have a date recently with Taylor and we ended up at some point at Kohl's and found these which no one should purchase unless going as Cousin Eddy to a Halloween shindig.

And with that, I am off to clean my kitchen and the gourmet macaroni and cheese and hot chocolate combo of the evening:) Don't report me.


  1. Hey Amy-

    I didn't realize your mom had passed away until I decided to come check out your blog. So sorry for your loss. I'll say a prayer for you today, friend.

    Tara Delacruz

  2. I'LL GO! I volunteer for the hardware job with you. I think you and your crock pot need to get reacquainted...b/c you gotta love throwing some things in a pot in the morning, smelling it all day, and then voila--dinner is ready! You avoid that afternoon slump but I gotta cook thing. And friend, you are doing just fine. there's no one way to grieve. You just gotta roll with it--and you do it with grace, dignity, faith, and flair!

  3. Good to hear from you! Hang in there .....just do what you can.....I am sure that the days are so hard and that you miss your mom so much. But I know how strong you are and and you have done great and will continue to do great!